In case you were unaware, bicycle helmets are cool thanks to Flight of the Conchords.

Here’s a Metal Monday Viking onslaught, courtesy of Amon Amarth.

Note that I’m a tech-positive anarcho-barbarian. If I could have a fusion-powered, GPS-navigated longship made of the most advanced materials, and terrorize the oppressors on the coasts while blasting metal, that would be pretty sweet. That doesn’t actually play into my strategy though.

Give ALL a call when you’re ready to take liberty a little more seriously.

Thanks to Brad Spangler for bringing this absolute win to my attention.

Today’s Anarchy In Your Head comic points out that regardless of what politicians say, they still primarily represent the iron fist of the state.  Also, the iron fist can fly.

I have a new store that features anti-election gear: Anarchy For President.

The Mock Teh Vote logo was designed by Mike at nostate.com. Assuming the store doesn’t get taken down by an especially bogus copyright claim, I will add more products and designs in the coming weeks. I haven’t yet decided how to integrate this new store into my page, as I already have a Cafepress shop. I’ll probably just have the “store” link go to a menu page with links to both.

I decided to look into using Zazzle after conversing with Mike Gogulski about making Mock Teh Vote shirts. Hopefully they will be available this week.

While I was learning about Zazzle services, I came across an amusing forum thread. Someone who thinks it’s original to sell artsy shirts featuring a certain wannabe emperor is miffed about a “Design Thief,” who apparently used the same stock photo of Obama to make their own stupid design. Make sure to read the whole thread.

Actual artistic plagiarism is a real asshole thing to do, but I think this is really funny. Someone trying to cash in on an aspiring leader of the world’s largest robber gang is crying about another loser stealing his/her/whocares ideas. Is that irony we can believe in?

In a related matter, I think a good discussion topic is: what is the most pathetic aspect of election ’08?

Obamamania?

The Ron Paul cult?

The fact that someone would actually put a McCain sticker on his car?

Rudy Giuliani’s 9/11-times-0.00000001-scale fall from importance?

Libertarians for Barr and Root?

Is Ralph Nader running again?

The amount of money being put into the whole spectacle?

The belief that this election will change enough to make it worth great effort?

The ideology that holds “as long as our guy is in power things will be okay”?

All of the above?

Other?

On this page you will find “Selections from HP Lovecraft’s Brief Tenure as a Whitman’s Sampler Copywriter.”

White Chocolate Truffle

What black arts could have stripped this chocolate of its natural hue? The horror of the unearthly, corpselike pallor of this truffle’s complexion is only offset by its fiendish deliciousness.

Hat tip to Wally Conger.

WASHINGTON, DC – Early this morning the Bush administration announced a new plan to resolve the South Ossetia crisis. The president proposed that the matter be decided in a fistfight between himself and Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.

In an announcement that startled the world, President George W. Bush announced “Vlad the Terrible here thinks he can tell my boy Saakashvili what to do with his troops in his own country. I’m telling you right now: I’m not going to let that happen.”

Bush predicted the outcome would be “like the fall of the Berlin wall” with the exception that “It will be my fists knocking down Vladimir’s face.”

Former KGB agent Putin eagerly accepted the challenge and was quick to claim that he would be the winner of this fight.

“I have split logs with this man, President Bush,” the Prime Minister stated, “and he swings axe like little girl. I can so take him.”

The response did not appear to frighten Bush, who was confident of victory “unless Putin can multiply like them crazy Russian dolls.”

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Bush’s proposal has precedents in international law, and presents an opportunity that the President will be “very successful” with.

“Erich Maria Remarque proposed a similar method of conflict resolution in 1929,” Rice stated. “President Bush has been physically training for years in the event that a worthy opponent presented himself. We are now faced with a unique opportunity to use all the President’s diplomatic skills to shape the world properly.”

US presidential hopefuls expressed differing views on the proposal. Republican John McCain applauded the President’s move, adding “Dubya knows I got his back. I may be old, but I can swing these mitts.” Democrat Barack Obama initially labeled the proposal “childish.” After receiving criticism for his apparent lack of manliness, he issued a statement saying, “We are beyond the stage when one leader can simply challenge another to determine the fate of nations. I support a measure involving a coalition of at least five European statesmen to hold down Putin while the President pounds him into borscht. That’s a beating we can believe in.”

The two men are expected to meet at an unspecified swingset in Germany to “duke it out.” A proposal by British Prime Minister Gordon Brown to resolve the situation using a cabor toss contest was quickly rejected by the Whitehouse as “not badass enough.”

darianworden.com

From The Onion:

“According to the idiot, he will become incensed at the quality and sentiment of the comments already posted below the video—which will include such replies as “not great, nice try tho,” “FIRSTIES!!!” and “wtf?? lol so random.” At this point, Mylenek said, he will feel a deep, unwavering desire to offer a dissenting opinion, which he has hinted will include the words “gay” and “reatrd” [sic].”